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Category: Movies > Comedy
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Movie Synopsis The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard 2009
A smooth-talking jack-of-all-trades attempts to save a struggling car dealership from certain bankruptcy in this comedy starring Jeremy Piven, directed by Chappelle’s Show creator Neal Brennan, and produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions. Don Ready (Piven) takes sales seriously; he’s always up for a challenge, and he parties as hard as he works. Approached to help an ailing car dealership from falling into the red, Ready recruits a crew of his best men and descends upon the quiet town of Temecula determined to succeed. Before long the dealership is flourishing and Ready’s crew are kings of the roost, but what happens when the man who made his mint by hustling cars meets the one woman who isn’t charmed by his formidable skills as a salesman. Realizing this may be his one shot at true love, Ready starts working overtime to convince the woman of his dreams that he’s the best bargain on the lot. Has the hustler finally found his soul, or is he so locked into his anything-goes lifestyle that there’s no looking back? Ving Rhames, Ed Helms, James Brolin, and David Koechner co-star.

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Category: Movies > Horror
Total size: 627.93 MB
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Movie Review: Halloween II
Movie Review: Halloween II – Halloween II’ is a sequel to the remake of Halloween film that had been released in 1978. Both the films are directed by Rob Zombie and this is a film that represents the psychological state of Laurie. Michael Myers is back with a vengeance as he is still not able to find his sister and all through the series, he is desperately seeking a reunion with his sister whom he had last seen as an infant. In order to get treated for an injury, Laurie gets admitted to a hospital only to find that Michael who had been perceived as dead return to murder the other patients who are admitted to the hospital. He tries to find out his sister and in this attempt he ferociously goes on with his murder spree.
Laurie is unharmed and she is deeply disturbed by all that she had witnessed. At times, the viewer will find that Laurie gets drowned in bouts of insanity. What the director tries to present in this film is that the psychological relation between the brother and sister. The brother’s desperation and insanity cannot leave the sister unaffected in her so-called normal life. The manner in which the brother sister duo react to the situations in their life are a lot similar from many aspects as well.


Category: Movies > Horror
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Movie Review : The Final Destination
At McKinley Speedway, race fans are gathered in the stands to watch as cars speed around the track. Some are even hoping for a crash. Nick O’Bannon (Bobby Campo) joins his friends, Hunt Wynorski (Nick Zano), Janet Cunningham (Haley Webb), and his girlfriend, Lori Milligan (Shantel VanSanten), with hot dogs and drinks in his hands. They are sitting in section 180. As he sits down, the bench almost snaps in half. Hunt offers the group a drink from his binoculars, which is just a cleverly-shaped canister. Lori asks him if that’s straight-up Jack, but Hunt says it his buddy, Jim. Down a couple of rows, Bobby sees Samantha (Krista Allen), a wife and mother of two, tell her boys to put tampons in their ears to block out the noise. A cowboy (Jackson Walker) sits down in front of Nick and Lori, blocking their view. They ask him to move down. A mechanic, Charlie Kewzer (Andrew Fiscella), and his girlfriend, Nadia (Stephanie Honore), are sitting together a few rows down. Nadia says she can’t see because of two people standing up. Charlie yells, “Down in front, a**hole!” A racist, Carson (Justin Welborn) and his wife (Lara Grice) see a black security guard named George (Mykelti Williamson) and Carson starts whistling Dixieland. George asks Carson to put his feet down. At the pit stop, wind knocks over a canister of motor oil and that spills down in the front of the tires of one of the cars. As the car speeds off, it dangerously slips on the motor oil, but regains control. Soon, a silver car pulls up and as the crew is filling it up, one guy leaves a sharp tool in a hole in the back of the car. One of the crew yells ,”Go! Go!” when everybody else isn’t done, but the car speeds off. The tool in the back of the car drops onto the track shortly after. After a lap, a black car with flames printed on the sides runs over the tool, bursting one of the tires. The car soon starts doing cartwheels, sending two of the tires flying. Everyone in the stands jumps to their feet in eagerness as one the tires flies and hits Nadia in the head, decapitating her. Everyone sees this and runs to the exit in panic. Carson and his wife watch as one of the cars skids out of control, and they turn to run. The car explodes, sending the hood into the stands, slicing Carson and his wife in half. Stephanie and her husband and her kids try to get out. The husband takes the boys outside to safety, but Stephanie is left behind. She trips on the stairs leading to the exit, and people step and trip on her as she is on the ground. She turns over on the stairs with teeth missing and her mouth full of blood. Suddenly, an engine flies and slams her in the stomach, killing her. As people step on the bench Nick and his friends were sitting on, it breaks in many places. A piece of wood from the bench sticks up as people step on it, with a sharp point sticking straight up in the air. Charlie is staring at the headless body of Nadia when he sees an explosion. He decides to get out of there when he trips backwards and falls on the sharp point of the bench sticking up, as it impales him in the back of his head and out of his mouth. As Nick and Lori try to get out of the crowded exit, George calls to them and says that there is an exit on the other side as well. Nick and Lori run over to George and call for Hunt and Janet. As Hunt and Janet try to run over to the others, pieces of the stands above them start falling. One of the stands above collapse on Hunt and Janet. Nick and Lori see this, and run to the other exit with George. The cowboy is separated from everybody else when a flaming car is sent flying into the stands and flies into him, taking out a support beam. Nick, Lori and George get separated and Nick is one side of the exit and Lori and George is on the other, with a crowd of people trying to squeeze into the exit. A collapse takes out the people trying to get out. Lori looks at Nick helplessly as the car on the stands explodes, with the flames engulfing George and Lori. The blast sends Nick backwards into a piece of rebar, impaling him in the heart. Nick emerges from his premonition as he squeezes Lori’s thigh in a tight grip. She asks what’s wrong. Hunt offers the group his canister. Lori asks if that’s straight up Jack. Nick says it’s his buddy, Jim. He points out that a cowboy sits in front of him, as the cowboy comes to sit down. Nick tells them that Stephanie is going to make her boys put tampons in their ears. He struggles to remember what Charlie had said to the people in front. He mumbles “Down in front, a**hole.” as Charlie yells the same sentence. He hears Carson whistle Dixieland and George tells him to put his feet down. Nick panics and says they have to get out of there, and starts to struggle. He falls on Charlie and Charlie takes off his jacket to fight him. Stephanie’s sons get scared and run off and she and her husband follow. George pulls Nick up and Nick accidentally knocks Carson’s beer all over his shirt. Carson runs after the group and tells his wife to stay in the stands. Nick, Lori, Janet, Hunt, George, Charlie, Nadia, Carson are all gathered outside the exit. Stephanie ran off after her kids with her husband. Nick says there is going to be a crash. Suddenly, the cars crash and everyone starts to run out of the exits. Carson tries to go back inside for his wife, but George won’t let him. Nadia screams at everyone as a tire flies over the speedway and slams into her, decapitating her. Later at a coffee shop called Death By Caffeine, Nick, Hunt, Lori, and Janet are all sitting around a table inside. They see on the news that there will be a memorial held the following night for the victims. Nick and Lori decide to go. The next night at the memorial, Stephanie and her husband meet with Nick and Lori and thank them. George introduces himself to them and as they talk, Carson accuses George of killing his wife since he didn’t let him go in after her. He then calls George the “N” word and tells him that his time is coming. Later that night, Nick has a nightmare of a red door, a hook, a cross, a horseshoe, and flames. George is at home, reading an Alcoholics Anonymous book when his mom calls. Carson pulls his tow truck up to George’s house. He’s drunk and is listening to hard rock on the radio. There is a metal horseshoe hanging off of his rear view mirror. He sees the lights go out in George’s house and turns his radio off, but keeps the car on. He goes to the back of the truck and pulls out a huge cross and a shovel. As he does so, he accidentally lowers the hook on the back till it reaches the ground. A can of gasoline gets knocked over and spills on the hook’s chain. As Carson goes over to George’s lawn to start shoveling, the wind knocks the horseshoe off of the mirror and as it falls, it hits the radio, turning it on, and lands on the gas pedal, pushing the truck forward. The song “Why can’t We Be Friends” starts blasting inside Carson’s truck, and as he runs over to it, the doors lock. He runs to the back of the truck as it’s still moving. The hook gets caught on the bottom of his pants and starts to drag him on the street. The chain dragging on the street causes the sparks to ignite the gasoline, setting Carson on fire. As he is being dragged, George comes out of his house and sees the tow truck dragging Carson. The truck explodes, and Carson’s head lands at George’s feet. The next morning, Janet calls Lori and tells her to turn on the news. Lori sees that Carson is dead and tells Nick. Nick has another vision of scissors, an eye, a straightener, and a ceiling fan. He says he doesn’t know who’s going to die next. Stephanie pulls up to a hair salon, and her two sons get out of the car in soccer uniforms. One son bets his brother he can’t hit a sign with a rock so they start throwing stones at the sign. One stone lands in the grass a guy is about to start mowing. When one of them hit the sign, the guy yells at them. Stephanie tells them to go play video games down the street at the arcade and she enters the salon. She convinces the receptionist to give her an appointment with someone else after they close since her hair dresser isn’t there. A hair dresser named Dee Dee (Cecile Monteyne) sets her up and as she raises the chair it falls back down. Stephanie gets startled, but Dee Dee reassures her. As Stephanie is getting her hair cut, the ceiling fan above is dangerously shaking as it spins. The receptionist lays her broom up along a shelf of hair products. It knocks a bottle of shampoo down onto the spout of a bottle of body butter, releasing some body butter onto the floor. The chair is creaking, and it is about to fall down again. Stephanie asks Dee Dee for some water. The receptionist comes to check on her. Stephanie puts her water down on the counter in front of her. The condensation of the cup drips and a bottle of hairspray slowly slips on the water toward the middle of the two hot plates of a hair straightener. The ceiling fan is coming apart as the hairspray is coming closer to the straightener. It slides in between the hot plates and starts to heat up. The bottle of hairspray is starting to turn brown due to the heat. Dee Dee is cutting very close to Stephanie’s eye. Stephanie’s sons run in with slurpees and slip on the body butter. Dee Dee stops and Stephanie asks if they’re okay. Suddenly, the heat from the straightener burns through the can of hairspray and it bursts. Stephanie screams as the hairspray is launched at the ceiling fan and the fan falls right in front of her, nearly hitting her. A few minutes later, she pays the receptionist and when she opens the door, she tells the boys she’s got her eye on them. As she turns to leave, the gardener mows over the stone her son threw and it is launched right into her eye socket. Blood flies through the back of her head and the receptionist and the boys start screaming as she falls dead. Later, Nick shows Lori, Hunt, and Janet that Stephanie died in an article. Nick tells them he knows how the next person is going to die and Lori shows them that they googled similar occurrences and shows them articles of the of 180 disasters. Hunt doesn’t care, but Janet gets freaked out and leaves. Hunt says he’s going to get laid and leaves. That night, Nick and Lori go back to the stands at the racetrack to remember the order of who died in his premonition. George catches them and takes them to the security office. He shows them the videos from the day of the accident and Nick remembers that Charlie dies next, then George, then Lori, then himself. Nick gets another vision of a car, a CO2 canister and other things. The next day, Nick, Lori, and George go to Charlie’s workplace, where he is working on a car. Lori jumps and screams when flames erupt from a motorcycle’s exhaust pipe for a cool effect, and accidentally hits a switch, which causes an angled platform to drop a short bit. Charlie rolls out from underneath the car and asks them why they’re there, but his boss tells him to take them outside. As they go outside, one of the workers places a can filled with tobacco spit on a table and works on a car. As he is working the table shakes from the force, and the can spills on the wires of the metal spool holding Charlie’s car in place with wrapped up cable on the angled platform. Charlie talks to them with a steel grate fence separating them. Charlie tells them he’s trying to get his life back together since Nadia died. George tells him that he has been too since he got into an accident with his wife and daughter in the car when he was drunk. Nick says he’s getting a bad feeling about something, when the wires of the metal spool short and the spool holding the cable is released. The car rolls down of the platform as George yells, “Look out!” The car almost crushes Charlie, but the cable on the spool runs out and stops the car from going further. Charlie comes out from behind the car, safe, and says that it’s not his time to die. Suddenly, the weight of the car put the entire spool out of place and the spool flies and hits the top of a CO2 canister. As George turns to leave, the top of the canister is released and it flies. It hits George and pushes him into the air towards the fence. It forces his torso through the sections of the fence and his body falls apart. Nick and Lori are sitting at a bench nearby the car shop and George joins them. Lori asks Nick who died first, Hunt or Janet. Nick says they died at the same time. They decide to split up; Nick will go after Hunt, and Lori and George will go after Janet. Nick is in his car when he notices an elegant sign next to his car that reads “Clear Rivers Water”. Clear Rivers (Ali Larter) was also the name of a girl who survived the flight 180 crash. When he sees the word water, he gets a vision of a coin falling in the water, some wires shorting, a soapy windshield, and a pipe bursting. He calls Hunt and leaves him a message telling him to stay away from water. At a pool, which is right next to a golf course, Hunt is having sex with a girl inside a cabana. He finishes, but she doesn’t so she gets mad and leaves. He walks around the pool and sees he has 3 new messages on his phone. The moment before he is about to check them, a fat, bratty kid on an inflatable raft in the pool shoots Hunt in the ear with a water gun. Hunt tells him to give him the gun, but the kid refuses. Hunt deflates the kid’s raft with his toothpick and pushes the kid in the water. He takes the gun and stashes behind a fence. He realizes the kid screwed up his phone with the water and it won’t work. The gun behind the fence falls and hits a switch labeled “Drain Pool: On”. The pool starts to drain. Meanwhile, Janet leaves the drycleaners and gives a homeless man some change. As she walks to her car, the homeless man throws a penny she gave him at some birds. As they fly off, one of them poops on her windshield. As she drives to a carwash, her sunroof starts to act up, opening and refusing to close. At the entrance of the car wash, she doesn’t notice a sign reading “Put antenna down” and goes into the car wash after she finally closes her sunroof. As the windshield gets soaped up, the spinning flaps start bending the antenna until it snaps and is sent flying into some wires. The wires get messed up, and Janet’s car stops moving. Her sunroof starts to open again and a pipe bursts from above, filling her car up with water. She screams as she tries breaking her window, but is unsuccessful. At the pool, Hunt is flipping his lucky coin on his knuckles as he sits on a pool chair. A golfer hits a ball which accidentally hits Hunt’s drink out of his hand. He inadvertently drops his coin and it rolls to the pool and falls in. Hunt walks over to the pool and dives in after it. He doesn’t notice the drain underneath him and it suck him to the bottom of the pool. He tries to stand up, but the suction is increasing since he his backing up the drain with his butt. The suction starts getting greater and greater as Nick pulls up to the pool. In the carwash, Janet forces her sunroof open enough to fit her head in and her neck becomes trapped. As she is coming closer and closer to flaps that spinning rapidly out of control, George and Lori enter the carwash through the exit and George pushes Janet’s car back with his own car. Lori gets out and frees Janet’s neck by pushing the sunroof back with her foot. She helps Janet out of the car as a pipe from above falls and breaks the windshield, draining the car. At the pool, Nick looks for Hunt. An enclosure showing the suction pressure with pipes leading to the ground to the pool starts steaming and shaking because of the backed up drain. The pressure is at the maximum when Hunt’s bones suddenly get broken inward and he gets disemboweled. Blood and intestines rush up to the enclosure and explode through the top. Hunt’s lucky coin lands among his bowels. Outside the carwash, George says that he’s next, but he’s made peace with it. He’s ready to join his family. At home, Nick and Lori are safe-proofing their apartment by covering sharp knives and such. Lori doesn’t get why George is ready to die. Nick sits down next to her on the couch to comfort her. Suddenly, a cup of coffee on the coffee table spills all over a newspaper, spelling out the message, “THROUGH ACTION, THEY WERE SAVED”. Nick thinks that maybe they don’t have to die. The two rush over to George’s house and go into his room. They see he is trying to hang himself. They try to save him, but he doesn’t want them to. Suddenly, the rope breaks and he falls. He confesses that he’s been trying to kill himself all day. He took a bunch of painkillers, but he threw them all up. He stuck his hose up his car’s exhaust pipe, but the car kept stalling. They come up with the conclusion that they broke the chain and cheated death. They go downstairs to celebrate with sparkling cider and cookies. Some number of days later, Nick is packing for his and Lori’s trip to Amsterdam. He and Lori are talking on the phone to each other. Lori says that she and Janet are seeing a movie at the mall called “Love Lays Dying”. Nick accidentally knocks the remote over and the TV turns on to the news. They state that there is a survivor from the crash, the cowboy. Nick has another vision of ambulance lights, a faucet, the universal sign for hospitals, and blood splattering. Nick rushes over to the hospital to meet George there. At the hospital, a war veteran is about to be given a bath. The attending turns on the tub on when a nurse enters and says she need him in another room. The attending leaves without turn the faucet off. Water starts to drip everywhere. In the room directly beneath the war veteran and the tub, The cowboy wakes up when he feels water dripping everywhere. He tries to call the nurse, but water seeps into the call button and shocks him. He manages to get on the ground and crawl away from his bed. Nick and George enter and see him on the ground as soon as the tube from above falls through floor and smashes him flat. As they’re leaving, Nick and George walk across the street when a speeding ambulance hits and kills George. He was next after the cowboy. On the ambulance, Nick sees the universal sign for hospitals. He rushes over to the mall. When he stops in front of the mall, he gets a vision fire, screws, spinning belts, and an exploding theater. He rushes inside. Inside, construction workers leave from working in a room on the other side of the theater Janet and Lori is in. A man leaves his glasses on the table. The sun shines through his glasses and onto a nearby pile of sawdust. The wind blows some tarp onto a fan, accidentally turning it on. The fan blows a table with gas, oil, etc. towards barrels that say “Spontaneously Combustible”. One of the bottles falls on a barrel and leaks over to the sawdust. Nick reaches Lori and Janet’s theater just in time. Lori goes with Nick, but Janet refuses. Nick and Lori turn the corner as the fire ignites the barrels the theater blows up killing many people. The go back in the theater and see Janet, with a long piece of debris sticking out of her as she’s coughing up blood. Nick and Lori leave as the explosions get bigger and the mall is falling apart. They’re running down the escalator when a pillar falls and breaks the steps. Nick is hanging onto Lori as the escalator moves closer to the spinning belts down below. Lori’s leg gets caught and snapped backward. She starts coughing up blood as the belts take the rest of her body and her blood gets splattered over Nick’s face. Nick emerges from another premonition as him and George are walking across the street. He yells, “Look Out!”, but it is too late as the ambulance rams George. He rushes over to the mall and goes into the construction room. He sees the fire and grabs an extinguisher and blows out the majority of it. The extinguisher runs out, so as he putting out the sawdust fire, a small piece of hot sawdust floats over to a pile of wood and sawdust and erupt in flames. Nick goes over to it as a table breaks with a nail gun on it. The nail gun points at him and fires a few rounds into his arm, pinning him against the wall. A bottle of oil falls next to the fire and leaks over to more “Spontaneously Combustible” barrels. Nick manages to grab a piece of long wood and wave it around a sprinkler on the ceiling as the oil ignites leading to the barrels, catching them on fire. The sprinkler turn on at the last second. TWO WEEKS LATER Nick is walking down the street when he asks a construction worker if the platform is supposed to be screwed tighter. The worker agrees and says that he’ll get someone right on that. Nick walks across the street to Death By Caffeine to meet with Lori and Janet. They sit down with their drinks and as Janet and Lori are talking, he notices signs. There is a brochure for the pool Hunt died at. On the back of a magazine, there is an ad for Love Lays Dying. On TV, they’re showing a race. He asks Janet and Lori what if the coffee shop was where they were meant to be. Suddenly outside, the construction platform falls, forcing a truck to swerve around it. It crashes into the coffee shop killing Janet, Lori, then Nick.

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Category: Movies > Drama
Total size: 1.31 gigabyte
Added: 2 days ago
Language: English
Share ratio: Average9049 seeds, 16927 leechers
Downloads: 38,818


Summery Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Nazi occupied France, and a young Jewish refugee Shosanna Dreyfus witnesses the slaughter of her family by Colonel Hans Landa. Narrowly escaping with her life, she plots her revenge several years later when German war hero Fredrick Zoller quickly takes an interest in her and arranges an illustrious movie premiere at the theater she now runs. With the promise of every major Nazi officer in attendance, the event catches the attention of the “Basterds”, a group of Jewish-American guerrilla soldiers led by the ruthless Lt. Aldo Raine. As the relentless executioners advance and the conspiring young girl’s plans are set in motion, their paths will cross for a fateful evening that will shake the very annals of history.

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Category: Movies > Comedy
Total size: 708.3 megabyte
Added: 2 days ago
Language: English
Share ratio: Average602 seeds, 1428 leechers
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Movie Review : Short 2009
‘Shorts’ is set in the suburb of Black Falls, where all the houses look the same and everyone works for BLACK BOX Unlimited Worldwide Industries Incorporated, whose Mr. Black’s BLACK BOX is the ultimate communication and do-it-all gadget that’s sweeping the nation. Other than keeping his parents employed, however, Mr. Black’s BLACK BOX has done nothing for 11-year-old Toe Thompson, who just wants to make a few friends…until a mysterious rainbow-colored rock falls from the sky, hits him in the head and changes everything. The Rainbow Rock does Mr. Black’s BLACK BOX one better: it grants wishes to anyone who holds it. Before long, wishes-gone-wrong have left the neighborhood swarming with tiny spaceships, crocodile armies, giant boogers…and outrageous magical mayhem around every corner. But it’s not until the grown-ups get their hands on the Rock that the trouble really starts. Now Toe and his newfound friends must join forces to save their town from itself, discovering along the way that what you wish for is not always what you want.

Eleven-year-old Toe Thompson is the designated punching bag for the bullies of the suburban community of Black Falls, where his and everyone else’s parents work for Black Box Industries, makers of the do-it-all gadget that’s sweeping the nation. But during a freak storm, a mysterious Rainbow Rock, which grants wishes to anyone who finds it, falls from the sky. Suddenly, the neighborhood that Toe already thinks is weird is about to get a lot weirder. As the Rainbow Rock ricochets around the town – from kid to kid and parent to parent – wishes-come-true quickly turn the neighborhood upside down in a wild rampage of everything from tiny aliens to giant boogers. From Robert Rodriguez, director of “Spy Kids,” comes a magical fantasy adventure told through a series of shorts that each brings to life the sometimes wonderful, often terrible, and totally out-of-control wishes that become far more than Toe and his neighbors ever imagined.

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Category: Movies > Comedy
Total size: 662.87 megabyte
Added: 3 days ago
Language: English
Share ratio: Above average154 seeds, 225 leechers
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Release date: Friday August 14, 2009
Genre: Comedy
Running time: 111 min.
Director: Todd Graff
Studio: E1 Films
Producer(s): Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas
Screenplay: Josh A. Cagan, Todd Graff
Cast: Aly Michalka, Vanessa Hudgens, Gaelan Connell, Scott Porter, Lisa Kudrow

Aly Michalka (“Phil of the Future,” pop duo Aly and AJ) and Vanessa Hudgens (“High School Musical 1 & 2,” ‘High School Musical 3″) join Gaelan Connell (‘Chocolat’), Scott Porter (‘Speed Racer’) and Lisa Kudrow (“Friends”) in the music-driven comedy ‘Bandslam.’ When gifted singer-songwriter Charlotte Banks (Michalka) asks new kid in town Will Burton (Connell) to manage her fledgling rock band, she appears to have just one goal in mind: go head-to-head against her egotistical musician ex-boyfriend, Ben (Porter), at the biggest event of the year, a battle of the bands.

Against all odds, their band develops a sound all its own with a real shot at success in the contest. Meanwhile, romance brews between Will and Sa5m (Hudgens), who plays a mean guitar and has a voice to die for. When disaster strikes, it’s time for the band to make a choice: Do they admit defeat, or face the music and stand up for what they believe in?

When gifted singer-songwriter Charlotte Banks (Michalka) asks new kid in town Will Burton (Connell) to manage her fledgling rock band, she appears to have just one goal in mind: go head-to-head against her egotistical musician ex-boyfriend, Ben (Porter), at the biggest event of the year, a battle of the bands.

Against all odds, their band develops a sound all its own with a real shot at success in the contest. Meanwhile, romance brews between Will and Sa5m (Hudgens), who plays a mean guitar and has a voice to die for. When disaster strikes, its time for the band to make a choice: Do they admit defeat, or face the music and stand up for what they believe in?

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Category: Movies > Sci-Fi
Total size: 694.32 megabyte
Added: 24 hours ago
Language: English
Share ratio: Above average2970 seeds, 3512 leechers
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Movie Review District 9
The film opens with a documentary-style series of interviews that introduce the situation. Twenty years before, an alien ship is seen coming towards Earth and arrives above Johannesburg, South Africa. It hovers above the city for three months without any contact; eventually humans take the initiative and cut into the ship. They discover a large group of aliens who are malnourished and sick. The aliens are later assessed as apparently being all “workers”, with their leadership mysteriously missing (it is hypothesized that a plague may have wiped out all of the leadership-caste). Grainy footage shows part of the ship (supposed to be a command module) falling to Earth, but nobody has been able to find it, leaving the ship inoperable.

The creatures, called “prawns” as a derogatory reference to the sea creature which they resemble, are housed in a government camp. The alien race’s true name is never learned they are primarily referred to as “prawns” or, more rarely, “non-humans”. Overcrowding and militarization eventually turn the area into a slum known as District 9. A massive black market is set up between the aliens and a group of Nigerians primarily led by Mumbo, a paralyzed warlord. In addition to inter-species prostitution, the Nigerians exchange canned cat food for alien weapons, of which the cat food has a similar effect to catnip on the aliens.

The movie takes place in 2010. Patience over the alien situation has run out and control over them has been contracted to Multi-National United (MNU), a private company that shows little regard for the aliens’ welfare. MNU is interested in using the aliens’ advanced weaponry, but its integration with alien biology makes it useless for humans.

An MNU field operative named Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley), is set with a task to move 1.8 million aliens to a new District 10 camp located 240 km from Johannesburg, with help from private security forces working for MNU. While inspecting a suspicious alien residence, Wikus handles an alien device which squirts a dark liquid into his face. He becomes very sick and collects the device as evidence.

A rapid transformation begins to occur, and shortly after exposure to the liquid, Wikus’s left arm mutates into a claw exactly like that of a prawn. After collapsing at a surprise party in his house, and a doctor at a local hospital discovers his alien left arm, Wikus is taken into custody and a series of tests and experiments are performed on him; these reveal that his alien DNA allows him to operate alien weapons. The scientists discover that his DNA is currently “in balance” with the alien DNA, which is gradually taking over. They decide to harvest his body for biological material at this critical point, to have the greatest chance of replicating his ability to use alien technology in other humans later. To reduce any side-effects, no anesthetic was used. However, during the attempted vivisection Wikus escapes after overpowering his captors, and flees from MNU.

Wikus seeks refuge in the run-down shack of an alien called Christopher Johnson, the same alien who Wikus attempted to evict earlier, who created the alien device that infected Wikus. The device contains fuel that Christopher scavenged from various alien parts scattered around District 9. It is hinted that Christopher might be a surviving member of the prawn leadership caste, as he shows much more knowledge of how alien technology works, possesses or at least found the command module, and interacts with MNU officials more articulately than other aliens. Although initially hostile towards Wikus, Christopher eventually agrees to help him reverse the transformation if Wikus will retrieve the fuel from MNU labs. Christopher promises to undo the mutation by getting Wikus aboard the mother ship hovering over Johannesburg, and shows Wikus the ship’s command module, which has been hidden under his shack.

Wikus steals some alien weaponry from Mumbo and his gang, with Mumbo vowing to capture Wikus and eat his mutated arm (his witch doctor believes this will give him the power to operate the alien weaponry). With Christopher’s help they launch an assault on MNU and successfully retrieve the fuel sample. While there, Christopher discovers that MNU has been experimenting on his people. Wikus and Christopher fight their way back to District 9 and Christopher begins preparations to leave. He tells Wikus that he must first return to his home world to seek help for his people before he can cure Wikus. Furious, Wikus knocks Christopher unconscious and powers up the ship himself. The MNU mercenaries target Wikus and destroy one of the command module’s engines, causing it to crash land inside District 9.

After Wikus is captured by MNU, a battle between the MNU mercenaries and Mumbo’s gang breaks out. After a protracted firefight, the Nigerians capture Wikus. Just before Wikus’ arm is chopped off, Christopher’s son activates several systems in the mothership, including the autopilot routine of a mechanized battle suit; it slaughters Mumbo and his men after they fire on it. Wikus enters the alien walker battle suit, and after initially attempting to flee, returns and rescues Christopher. Armed with a lightning cannon, tracking missiles, and a high-powered machine gun, Wikus begins to fight the MNU men. After being knocked over by a anti-tank sniper round, he convinces Christopher to return to the shuttle without him, over Christopher’s objections. Christopher promises Wikus that he will return in three years to repair his body. Christopher then boards the shuttle and activates a tractor beam which returns the command module to the mother ship.

Wikus is shot in the back and the walker suit ejects him. Wikus, heavily wounded, begins dragging himself away from the leader (and sole survivor) of an MNU squad, but is quickly caught. As Wikus prepares to die, aliens burst out of the surrounding slums and dismember the mercenary.

The film concludes with another series of interviews and news broadcasts, providing human opinions on the events that unfolded. The aliens are successfully moved to District 10, which now has a population of 2.5 million and is growing. One of Wikus’ coworkers hacks MNU’s database and publicly exposes their illegal genetic experiments. There are many differing theories on Wikus’ fate. Some people believe that he either left on the mother ship, is in hiding, was captured by MNU or a government agency. Some interviewees hypothesize that the aliens are planning to return with a full army and declare war on humanity. An interview with Wikus’ wife reveals a small metal rose was left on her doorstep (Wikus has earlier demonstrated his affection with handmade gifts). Her friends have told her that it could not have possibly been Wikus, but she appears unsure. In the final scene, an alien with a bandaged left arm is shown in a junk yard fashioning a rose out of scrap metal.

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Movie Review G I Joe The Rise Of The Cobra 2009
The players: Director: Stephen Sommers, Writers: Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett, Cast: Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols

Facts of interest: Sommers also directed “The Mummy,” its sequel, and “Van Helsing.”

The plot: An elite team of soldiers heads out to prevent a ruthless weapons manufacturer from launching three destructive missiles.

Our thoughts: Stephen Sommers’ “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” could easily qualify as one of the year’s most ridiculous films. It’s certainly not the worst I’ve seen so far in 2009, but it’s undoubtedly one of the most incredibly absurd and mostly forgettable action flicks in recent history. On the bright side, it’s not as disastrous as it could’ve been.

What can I say? If you’ve seen the previews for the film, you kind of already know what to expect. “G.I. Joe” consists entirely of brainless action sequences driven mostly by massive explosions and countless shoot-outs, and if that’s on your movie wish list this weekend, I’m sure you’ll find this spectacle quite enjoyable to watch.

Walk in with any higher expectations, however, and you may leave the theater disappointed, because beneath the enormous amount of so-so action the flick delivers during its dragging 118 minutes, there’s absolutely nothing remotely memorable to discover in “Rise of Cobra.”

Several attempts at light humor mostly fail, the majority of the dialogue tanks, and the little character development there is stinks as well. As far as the look of the film is concerned, some action moments look decent enough, although most of the CGI looks downright cheap.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Even though “Cobra” is by no means suspenseful, a few fast-paced scenes did manage to engage me a bit. A huge Paris chase involving accelerator suits, a nearly indestructible Hummer, and a lot of firepower, for instance, looks pretty spectacular. Alas, other parts of the film almost bored me to death.

As far as the story goes, don’t expect anything special here. In a cat-and-mouse game between good and evil, the G.I. Joes try to track down ruthless weapons manufacturer McCullen (Christopher Eccleston in a poor performance), who orders the theft of his own high-tech arms so he can teach the world a lesson.

Another thing I want to mention before I wrap this up is Sienna Miller. She may not exactly play a convincing badass villain, but she surely looks sharp in her tight clothes as the Baroness. Yes, I admit her presence may have made it a tad easier for me to sit through the whole film without throwing in the towel.

Freaky quote: “I went through the train… what happened to you?” – Marlon Wayans

The final word: “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” offers a couple of amusing moments, but all in all, I found myself unable to warm up to the film as the lame plot in front of me kept progressing. Younger audiences and Hasbro fans may get a kick out of all the senseless, mediocre action, but I just couldn’t get myself to cheer for these guys. Who knows, maybe the sequel will be better.

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Movie Review A Perfect Getaway 2009
At this point in his career, David Twohy is most recognized for his Vin Diesel series of Riddick films (Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick). A Perfect Getaway, however, is nothing like either of those films as Twohy tells an old-fashioned whodunnit thriller all while mixing in a lot of darkly comic elements. As a matter of fact, he mixes the two so well we come out wishing there had been even more, which ends up serving as both the plus and negative sides to what ends up being a decent feature.

In terms of story set-up this film brings nothing new to the table as a trio of couples hiking on a remote and secluded trail in Hawaii learn of a newlywed couple that was murdered on one of the other islands and all begin to question those around them. Who could the murderers be?

As simple and cliche as all of this sounds, and is, there is an admitted bit of a self-depricating charm to it all. I have a hard time believing Twohy ever took this film, and his script, with a 100% straight face and as long as the audience takes that approach to it you should be able to laugh and have a good time almost every step of the way.

Timothy Olyphant plays an eccentric ex-special ops soldier (or self proclaimed “American Jedi” if you prefer) with a wild imagination, a taste for killing and the most outstanding and thoroughly enjoyable performance of the film. Kiele Sanchez, playing his girlfriend, is just as interesting. For example, after setting off into the jungle with nothing more than a bow and arrow, Olyphant returns to camp with a goat over his shoulders, throws it down to the ground only to be scolded by Sanchez who says, “Would you mind turning it around so the blood doesn’t run downhill and all over our shit?” She follows this up by gutting the animal and narrating as she does it. Even with their brutish behavior, they are a hard couple not to like.

A second couple is played by Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich, both of which also turn in great performances, especially Jovovich who plays a far more light-hearted character than we are used to seeing the Resident Evil star inhabit. Together the two couples make their way through the jungle all while a third couple played by Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek) and Marley Shelton (Grindhouse) show up every so often to keep us on our toes.

A Perfect Getaway is a genre film with all the genre trappings, but the eccentric behavior and the anti-climactic B-movie approach to the film’s final moments make it a little more than cliched drivel. The only major problem the film has is what feels like a studio-mandated flashback tell-all sequence that doesn’t play into the tone of the film whatsoever and seemed to confuse the two dolts sitting behind me more than actually explain the story. It’s a moment when things are rushing along only to come to a grinding halt, completely throwing the film off track and it takes some time to boot back up.

Strangely enough, for a film that’s being sold as a brutal thriller, packed with action and filled with suspense it really isn’t any of that. As a matter of fact, the action packed climax is the worst part of it all until one character gets shot in the head, one runs in slow-motion, three run in a three-way split screen and another repels down the side of a cliff. Had Twohy taken it all even further over the top I think it would have gotten better each time he ratcheted it up, and I can’t help but think the reason he didn’t falls on the studio’s shoulders by not having supreme confidence in the tone Twohy was going for. Too bad.

A Perfect Getaway isn’t without its flaws, but I will at least say it is a satisfying genre entry you and some friends could have a lot of fun laughing with, because this film doesn’t take itself seriously and you shouldn’t either.

GRADE: B

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Movie Review : The Collector
The players: Director: Marcus Dunstan, Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Cast: Josh Stewart, Madeline Zima, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Juan Fernandez

Facts of interest: Dunstan and Melton also wrote the last three “Saw” films.

The plot: A handyman breaks into ah home only to realize he’s not the only intruder.

Our thoughts: Fancy yet another round of totally brainless big-screen violence lacking suspense and innovation? If so, then I suggest you check out Marcus Dunstan’s latest horror flick “The Collector,” an ultra-monotonous experience that stole 88 minutes of my life but failed to offer me any thrills or surprises.

The plot of “Collector” is pretty straightforward: Josh Stewart stars as Arkin, a desperate handyman who decides to rob his employer’s country home while the family is away on vacation. What Arkin doesn’t know, however, is that a ruthless psychopath with evil intentions has checked into the house first…

While the main idea of two bad guys with different interests colliding at the same place sounds rather intriguing at first, “The Collector” fails to use this concept intelligently enough to create a horror movie with potential. Instead, what you get here is more of the same old torture formula you see in all those “Saw” sequels.

Essentially, there’s absolutely nothing remotely intriguing to experience in this sucker. Arkin quickly realizes he’s not alone in the house he’s robbing, and for the next hour or so, he tries to navigate the place looking for a way out without being caught or falling in of the nasty killer’s sadistic traps. It may sound vibrant, but it really isn’t.

As far as the dose of violence is concerned, screenwriters Dunstan and Patrick Melton made sure to include plenty of ridiculously bloody moments triggered by a series of knives, nails, ropes, fishhooks, etc. Sure, some of these scenes are ugly to watch, but they don’t carry any weight and they sure don’t have any purpose.

Freaky quote: “I don’t think she’s in the house” – Josh Stewart

The final word: That’s pretty much all I have to say about “The Collector.” “Saw” fans may find some fun in this film, but I spend most of it wondering why and how such a lame story actually makes it to the big screen. This movie is a bunch of nonsense, and I can only hope “The Collector” won’t return for a sequel.

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